crossroads
this is a re-construction of my previous post. i have short term memory.
first of all, i just want to show off my new 17" LCD moniter which i bought at $275 together with FREE keyboard and optical mouse and $20 NTUC vouchers. damn damn damn cheap.
i have not gone to work for 2 days. because of my cramps. and because i'm so sick and tired of the agency.
i still love my job alot. but i hate the agency. and when something like that happens, you start to lose interest altogether. i don't mean to say that there're no nice people in the agency. there are, and i love them. but i just hate the rules and scandals and everything. imagine the disgust when you find out that 2 of your colleagues are actually fucking each other and one of them is married and their age gap is that of a father and daughter.
i am confused. even though there's not really alot to be confused about.
i do not wish to go back to a normal stable 8-5 job because i hate the routine. and then i realised that my current job is routine too. but i don't want to wake up 10 years later and realised that i'm not making much progress and that i should have done something else instead. and that is why i joined this current job last year. but now, a year has passed, and i still don't see myself going anywhere. i hate it that other people seems to have it easy, but i can't. or maybe i don't see them during their downtimes and so i assume everything is easy for them.
many many times i've reached this crossroad and wondered if i'm making the right decision. and many many times because of my belief, i persevere. but how long more can i go on like this? and like i said in my blog, sometimes believing in something too much and for too long drains your energy away. which is exactly my case now. i've been too stubborn for my own good and now i'm suffering the consequences. this time, i'm heading for a different direction, unless a miracle happens right now. it's been too long.
first of all, i just want to show off my new 17" LCD moniter which i bought at $275 together with FREE keyboard and optical mouse and $20 NTUC vouchers. damn damn damn cheap.
i have not gone to work for 2 days. because of my cramps. and because i'm so sick and tired of the agency.
i still love my job alot. but i hate the agency. and when something like that happens, you start to lose interest altogether. i don't mean to say that there're no nice people in the agency. there are, and i love them. but i just hate the rules and scandals and everything. imagine the disgust when you find out that 2 of your colleagues are actually fucking each other and one of them is married and their age gap is that of a father and daughter.
i am confused. even though there's not really alot to be confused about.
i do not wish to go back to a normal stable 8-5 job because i hate the routine. and then i realised that my current job is routine too. but i don't want to wake up 10 years later and realised that i'm not making much progress and that i should have done something else instead. and that is why i joined this current job last year. but now, a year has passed, and i still don't see myself going anywhere. i hate it that other people seems to have it easy, but i can't. or maybe i don't see them during their downtimes and so i assume everything is easy for them.
many many times i've reached this crossroad and wondered if i'm making the right decision. and many many times because of my belief, i persevere. but how long more can i go on like this? and like i said in my blog, sometimes believing in something too much and for too long drains your energy away. which is exactly my case now. i've been too stubborn for my own good and now i'm suffering the consequences. this time, i'm heading for a different direction, unless a miracle happens right now. it's been too long.